Hey, hooman, look out! It’s a ruckus raccoon coming at you at waddling speed. He comes over for one of three reasons: 1) Steal your food, 2) Steal your girl, or 3) Offer you a bunch of raccoon nonsense topped with extra silliness and lots of funnies, and if you refuse it – try to force it on you. Just one of these option. We’re letting you know so you’ll be prepared when this raccoon finally waddles over here. Since he waddles and is practically a chonker, we don’t think he’s here to steal your food. Also, since you’re standing here only with us, we don’t think he’s here to steal your girl either. It leaves only option number 3…
Brace yourself, raccoon nonsense is coming. He finished waddling, this ruckus raccoon will now rampage all over your feed and try to actually feed you some silly nonsense. You either run or stay and have a ruckus raccoon laugh. It’s your choice now… choose wisely.
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